Chicken—Ram, ah, ah, where have you been, your face is very scarce these days o. I was unable to see you throughout the holidays, checking my social media handles did not even yield desired results.
What happened?
RAM—My sister, nothing much, I was just trying to mind my own business, you know, apart from the environment, people were so hostile during the holidays you were talking about, hence, I hid myself away from the prying eyes of enemies.
CHICKEN—Why must you hide yourself away from people? Did you do anything wrong to offend them? Or are you owing people some money?
What exactly was the problem?
RAM–Ah, owing people ke? You are pretending, as if you don’t know that people were so hostile to us during the holidays, though, that was how it used to be, especially, celebratory holidays, but, this year, the intensity was much, it was only God that saved us.
CHICKEN—All these things you are weaving together, I can’t understand them. Hostility, environment, celebrations, holidays and on and on.
RAM–That you are seeing me now after the holidays is enough reason for you to understand my drift.
But , come to think of it, aren’t you also lucky that you are alive? Abi?
CHICKEN- – -I don’t know what happened to your senses anyway.
RAM—No, no, it’s not what you think. Why should I be looking for your demise when I know we are good friends?
CHICKEN—My brother, your way of thinking surpassed my comprehension o, though, I am not bothered, I am only worried concerning people who are always out to decimate us, whenever there is a holiday.
Especially this season.
RAM—This matter of Mathematics again? What brought about decimal here, you want to use it to change the course of this discussion abi?
Instead of you telling us the kernel of the matter.
Just, simple statement.
CHICKEN—I thought you were accusing me of speaking in tongue? Now I know, we are birds of the same feather, with this your camel.
RAM–No o, nothing, like camel o, I said kernel, but, please, enough of this Afghanistanism, by this, I mean , leaving a problem at home, just to solve the same problem abroad.
I beg of you, let us finish discussing what we went through, in the hands of kidnappers and thieves before and during the holiday.
RAM— Thank you for bringing us back to our senses, I know we had left the substance since, but thank God you brought us back.
Besides, you should know that I am not one of the kidnapper’s favourites, during the holiday, you were the ones they were out for, you, yourself know this like the back of your hand.
Had it been they were able to get you, you know what that means to them in terms of naira and kobo, apart from this, your being in the kitty means good news to both young and old during the holiday.
Are you getting me at all?
CHICKEN– You mean, you are not valuable to them?
RAM— That is not what I meant, you know it yourself, you are more priced and much more valuable, this season, than any of our counterparts and friends.
CHICKEN— So, you mean, I would have been a dead man by now? God, I thank you o, I did not even give it a thought. I was just doing my own thing, in my own way sha.
But, see the way God works and the way he answered my prayer.
RAM– I also knew it was God that preserved our lives, ah, like Pharaoh and his chariots, after the Israelites, but, God said, without mincing words, it is not our time yet, go and flourish.
CHICKEN—My brother, with all these your submissions, there is every need for us to have a Thanksgiving, may be in the nearest Church, Mosque , Shrine or any available space.
RAM—You are looking for trouble again, Thanksgiving in either Church, Mosque or Shrine, you say?
When you get there, be sure they will demand your head after service, that means, from frying pan to fire, please, take your Thanksgiving to your house.
Na everywhere God’s eyes dey!
CHICKEN—Thank you for calling my attention to this, I can also recollect some Thanksgivings, years back that ended on a sour note for some friends. Let me go home and do my Thanksgiving, in the inner recess of my house, where neither kidnappers nor carnivores will be privileged to seem me.
That I survived, to witness 2024, regardless of their evil machinations, is a good testament of God’s mercy.
RAM—If you say so, God, I thank you too o! May we continue to witness this type of Christmas and New Year in the land of the living.
Aaaaameeeeen!
