CHIEF: Leader, quite a long time. What is happening? l called your lines severally to no
avail. Each time I called; I met a brick wall. What is the problem?
Leader: Immediately we finished our festival last year, I had to go back to our village, in
fact, my trip was timely, because my people were expecting me. I was engaged in
community matters throughout; hence, I couldn’t come back early.
Chief: Why were they expecting you so early like that? They should have known that
after the festival, there would be a selection of our king and some other traditional rites
to accompany it, have they forgotten?
Leader: I was not sure they forgot, it was the joy that accompanied the selection and all
the traditional rites that followed, which they missed. Those were the things they wanted
me to share with them, hence, their expectation of me coming home.
Chief: These your people, you must be a son that is more than one thousand sons, the
one they call Okan lomo. You are lucky anyway, for your people to be treating you this
way, it means a lot.
Leader: I was the one who asked them to form a formidable group during the selection
of our King. And as luck would have it, our choice became the king. Since then, they
have been relying on my native intelligence for information.
Chief: So, you and your village people were the ones that formed part of that selection
back then? The era of Emi lokan abi?
Leader: Emi lo kan! That slogan! Oh, goodness, it was the magic or the tonic that
energized us , to play our part very well during the selection process. Apart from this,
we also checked his credentials, and his track record. We knew he had been a chief for
some time; later, there was trouble in his village, for which reason he had to run for his
life. He came back when the drunken king that was always smoking fire died. On his
return, he became baale in one of the hamlets. You remember that hamlet that is by the
river, yes, the one that celebrates Yemoja, the goddess of the sea? What people
remember was that, during his time, damsels got suitors and got married in their
numbers, wives delivered with ease, and valiant men brought medals to the village
square. There was plenty of food. People were always running every morning to slim
down.
So, we assumed that his stars would remain as of the old times. What we did not reckon
with, was that a day like this will come, when a bucket of paint of Gari will sell for 2000
Naira, rice will be flying like saucer, while the pot of soup will be dry for days. And the
response of our king would be “E lo fokan bale!” Is someone telling him that the hungry
does not appreciate sermon?
Chief: This your story is taking a life of its own. It is becoming unwieldy and disjointed,
at least, to my hearing. One, because, I am hungry, and from what you have reeled out,
you are one of those people who got us into this fry pan and you are saying you did not
know that prices of commodities will be more than tripled so soon.
Leader: Why did you say fry pan? You are not plantain, neither are you meat or fish,
there is no way I will fry human being.
Chief: If you cannot understand my drift, then it is a pity!
Have you seen some messages trending on Facebook?
Leader: Facebook or what? What are you talking about? I don’t have a Facebook
account, so, I cannot see any nonsense being sold as genuine information.
Chief: Let me check on my phone, I will show it to you now, though, it was written in
Yoruba, but the whole information is pregnant with a lot of meaning.
Leader: Before that, what is this epistle, you asked me to check, what is it all about?
The only trouble in town that I know of, is this kidnapping epidemics, and its spreading
like harmattan fire, or what else do you have besides this?
Chief: Kidnaping? Well, it may be the off shoot of what I am about to show you, because
there is this saying, an hungry man is an angry man and any hungry man or woman can
do anything to stay alive. But to me kidnapping, should not have been an option.
Leader: Now that kidnapping is an option nko? We must try as much as possible to
stem it or else!
But then, what is this information on your Facebook?
Chief: Common, just look at it:
1) Lori gari ike oda kan 1900 Naira, Baba gba ope wa. (Over a measure of gari sold for
N1900, Father, may you be praised!)
2)Lori rice 65,300 Naira, Baba gba iyin wa. (For a bag of rice that is sold for N65,300,
Father, accept our praises)
3) Lori ewa 51,500 naira, Baba gba ope wa. (For beans that now sells for N51, 500,
Father, may you be praised)
4)$1=1,405 Naira,baba gba ogo. (For one dollar that now exchanges for N1, 405,
Father, take the glory)
5,) Lori isu eyokan (kekere) 1,700 naira, Baba gba iyin wa, etc. (For small tuber of yam
that sells for N1,700, Father, accept our thanksgiving).
Leader: I cannot see anything serious in this. What we need is to do the needful. We
need to retrace our faulty steps, and urgently do something meaningful. Otherwise,
hunger will continue to ‘run for our face’, like the legendary Fela Anikulapo sang in his
days.
Our people should just go back to the farm. Thank God, it is not an offence for civil
servants to engage in farming. A little here, a little there, together we will banish hunger
from the land.
A lot had gone wrong before now, but that notwithstanding, the easiest way and sure
way of getting our economy back on its feet, is to go green, I mean return to Agriculture.
Chief: Are you saying it is our turn?
Leader: Yes, it is our turn. In fact, we should shout it loud for all to hear: Awa lokan! We
must return to the farm, so we can feed ourselves, improve our domestic and national
economy. Importing rice, meat, poultry products and what not, will not help us. The time
to help ourselves is now.
Awa lokan! Agbe lokan!!
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
